Saying goodbye to old friends is one of the hardest parts of moving away. Friendships enrich everyday experiences and help us carry on when times are tough. Because they’re so important to our happiness and mental health, finding new ones is often the best way to overcome the loneliness and homesickness we can experience after relocating to a new city.
But, as many people have observed, making friends as an adult isn’t always easy. Adults lack the structured interactions, scheduled playtimes, and shared daily routines they enjoyed when they were in school. As an adult, making friends requires you to create opportunities, plan activities, and coordinate schedules.
That might sound daunting, but it’s not as difficult as you might think. With the right approach and, more importantly, the right mindset, making friends in a new city can be surprisingly easy. Here are five ways to help you get started.
One of the simplest ways to meet new people is through the people you already know. Before you leave, ask your friends, family, and colleagues whether they know anyone in your new town. They can make the introduction by calling, texting, or emailing, so you have someone to reach out to when you arrive.
The internet is a great way to make new connections. We all know about dating apps, but there are also websites where people can go to interact and socialize, such as:
Local Parks & Rec Departments also schedule activities throughout the year. Their events calendar is normally posted online, making it another great resource for people looking to meet new friends.
Think of something you’re passionate about or interested in exploring. It could be chess, camping, painting, rock climbing, or literature. Hobbies are generally considered the easiest way to make friends, since they help you connect with people who share your interests.
Search for hobby groups in your area. You might find out about them online, through your local community center, or on flyers posted at gyms, comic shops, or sporting goods stores near your home. To help drum up business, many companies promote, organize, and sponsor these types of events, to help build a community around a specific interest.
Volunteering isn’t just a good way to give back and help others. It also brings you into contact with a wide range of people who share your values. Uniting to work on a common cause, whether it’s homelessness, arts and culture, animal welfare, or one of many others, also makes us happier and more social, creating a positive environment where people are more likely to open up and bond with one another.
Despite what you may think, most people are surprisingly receptive to conversations. A simple “Hello” or “How are you doing?” is often enough to get someone talking. Look for gathering spots in your neighborhood such as bars, coffee shops, food halls, and dog parks.
If you see someone who seems friendly, say “Hi.” If you’re someplace with a game or movie on in the background, ask them about it. People love to share their thoughts and opinions. If you hit it off, suggest doing something together sometime—maybe grabbing coffee, checking out a game, or picking up the conversation somewhere else.
Keep in mind that not every conversation will lead to friendship. While many people are happy to chat, not every person you meet will share your values, outlook, or interests, and that’s okay. As you grow more comfortable talking to people, the chances of making a meaningful friendship will rise steadily.
Making friends as an adult can feel difficult, especially when we compare it to how easily friendships seemed to happen as children. Adult friendships require a bit more effort, but they don’t have to be as complicated as they might seem. Most people are happy to make new friends, even if they’re not always sure how to start. That said, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Above all, don’t get discouraged. They say it takes 40-60 hours of shared time to become a casual friend, 80-100 hours to become a regular friend, and around 200 to develop a close friendship, so give it time. Keep putting yourself out there and eventually good things will happen.
Starting over in a new city can be stressful, but getting there shouldn’t be. Allied’s full-service moving teams make your transition as smooth as possible. From planning to packing to shipping, storage, and final delivery, we take care of everything, leaving you free to focus on your life ahead. Contact us today for a free quote!
